I’ve had so many post ideas go through my head over the past month since I started this blog. Obviously I haven’t gotten around to writing any of them! 😦 I think one thing that is a pretty common theme in my life is fear of the unknown. Such as… fear of starting to put my words and thoughts out there again, having them be read, thought over, and critically reviewed… Aiyiayiay! So unfortunately, it sometimes puts a hault – or a procrastinating road block in my way of moving forward or getting things done. (There are other strong factors such as perfectionism and pride… but for now we focus on the fear piece. 😉 )
The most recent vivid example of real fear happened for the space of a couple weeks just before my son was born. People kept asking me if I was nervous or afraid of the labor to come… and quite miraculously I could honestly tell them no, for the most part. 😉 My fears were directed almost exclusively to the part that came after that! Taking care of a tiny, precious human being!! God had really helped me through the process of finding a doctor, midwives, and a hospital environment whom I trusted in and felt comfortable and well informed, that the first week of my baby’s life is not what freaked me out anymore. But seriously, I was about to become a Momma – full-time, round-the-clock responsibility for a little person, and… I felt doubt and fear that I would know what to do! Well, by the grace of God, somehow that fear actually managed to fly out the window… and I think it was right after that first night at the hospital when I finally got him laid down to rest for 3-4 hours straight, and I felt the most extreme surge of confidence and pride, that I could conquer the world after that, haha. And of course, I had a wise husband by my side who was able to offer help and support. 🙂
See, this is the theme. I can spend time worrying and getting worked up about something, but almost always God soars in with the extra gift of confidence and peace and wisdom just when I need it… and He never leaves my side. 🙂 So thankfully, over the years – that fear of the unknown time has shortened considerably for the majority of situations.
Such a scared little girl… just before getting married – sex and cooking and… yeah, pretty much those two things had me freaked, haha. A little girl – afraid in my bed… afraid to stay at friends’ houses… Going off to college… Going off to Greece! Would I be good enough, strong enough, smart enough to face each difficulty….. The beauty of it is – I never would have to be… on my own. 🙂
Church be edified